As I sat in the church pew this morning, I remembered a frequent prayer request of mine—“Mold me into the person You want me to be.” Is going through breast cancer part of that molding process? I always knew when I made that request that it could mean something very unpleasant, but I also said, “Make me willing.” There’s an old saying, “Be careful what you ask for, because you might get it.” I actually thought of that saying recently when I asked God to mold me.
Rick Atchley said in a sermon awhile back that he repented of every sermon he ever preached in which he said that being in the will of God is the safest place to be. Noting that being in the will of God could get you crucified, he said it’s not the safest place to be, but it is the most alive and exciting place to be. That’s really how I’m looking at this illness. If God is going to allow me to go through it, then it must be for my good and His glory. It may seem strange to say this, but I am anxious to see what He’s going to teach me through all this.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t for one minute think this will be physically easy. I expect it to be painful—all surgery is. If I end up having radiation therapy, I expect it to be very uncomfortable and a huge inconvenience. Yet, I can’t help but think this is going to be the most exhilarating time of my life, spiritually. For that, I am exceedingly grateful!
Father, I don’t know what You have in store for me, but I surrender everything I have and all that I am to You and to Your will. I know that You will do what is best for me, even when I can’t see the good in it. I trust You, God.
When I asked You to mold me into the person You wanted me to be, I meant it. If going through breast cancer is part of that molding process, the refining fire, then so be it. Jesus said He would never leave me. I believe Him.
When the going gets particularly difficult, Father, I’m counting on You to give me Your strength to get through it. I’m counting on you to send me the godly men and women to help me right when I need them. I trust You.
When Satan comes near, O God, help me to accurately wield the sword of the Spirit, Your Word, to send him retreating. I know, Father, that if I try to do this alone, I will fail. But, You are with me, and You will succeed!
Thank you, Father, for never leaving me or forsaking me. In Jesus’ holy and precious name I pray. Amen.